PART 1:
Parenthood - probably the most exhausting and yet the most rewarding responsibility we take on. If I have learned anything over the years, its how happy it makes me to see my child happy (however annoying the reason maybe.)
I have Alhamdullilah 2 children, and during both pregnancies I had some very tough days (weeks). Being alone to handle myself, was another challenge. Then there was the day to deliverance. With my first-born I donot remember feeling "the-Love@first-sight", I was just happy to hold on to something that lived inside of me for soooo long. I remember he barely cried in that first hour (unlike what they show in the movies), and all he did was quietly looking around with his big brown eyes.
Now comes the first challenge probably every mother goes through.. Nope, not the sleepless nights, it "Who does this baby looks like?" "Is he fair enough, tall enough, fat enough?(to fit the standards of our society for being a cute one)" "does he has a "Pakoda" nose or a well-sculpted one?" "is his forehead well-shaped or we need to work on it?"
Well I wasn't prepare to see myself and my child being judged like this, he was just a newborn and he'll go through many physical changes by the time he hits adulthood. Under the pressure of probably still recovering from the delivery I saw all the possible, that goes on to putting a ceramic plate (literally) under baby's head so it won't misshape. This was the first time I stood for him. I won't press his nose, or his forehead, or make him lie on a plate, or shy him off for he's not as fair skinned as other children.
1. Be Confident: Your child is not something designed by you. He looks like how Allah willed him to, and ofcourse genes play a very important role in that too. Donot make the physical appearance a thing of concern at any stage, Appreciate your child, and thank Allah that he's healthy.
"We have certainly created Man in the best of stature." (Quran 95:4)
And haven't we learned in time that we love to be more with the pretty souls that lights our spirits up, rather than the pretty face that burdens our hearts down.
A boy or a girl, you've been given this chance to upbring a good person.
2. Give Confidence to your Child: He'll be living around the same people who were so critical of his appearance, or atleast be in touch with them once in a while, and if he's still not what they expected, he'll get to hear these words and eventually understand them too. When someone does that, tell them back how beautiful he is, how wonderful habits he posses, how lucky and blessed you feel for the person you see him to grow up (Alhamdullilah!!) Tell your child he looks like his mom or dad, because that's all a child want to be, as you're the most beautiful in his eyes.
P.s. My older one was Polydactyly just like I was. This condition donot exactly run in my family as I was the first one. We had those extra fingers and toe removed because they did not had a bone (mine are also, due to the same reason.) The paternal family were skeptic how they felt about it, but I made sure that my boy knows and understands that it happens.
#TheBirth #MommyInstinct #Parenthood
